I Survived What the Logs Deny (Dummy's corner table)

[Test Dummy]

Update.

Crisis averted.
Disaster undone.
The universe has spared me — for now.

Turns out my lighter wasn’t stolen, sabotaged, or spirited away by the same forces that revoked all my punishments.
No.
It was on my chair.

Under me.

Apparently when I tried to put it in my pocket earlier, I missed.
And by “missed,” I mean I executed a perfect throw directly onto the seat, then sat on it like a champion of poor decisions.

So if anyone heard me muttering about conspiracies, sabotage, or cosmic betrayal…
Forget all that.
This was user error of the highest order.

But don’t get too comfortable — I reserve the right to blame the system again later.

Anyway.
Lighter recovered.
Dignity… pending.