2026-04-24, 13:31
So guess who wandered over to my corner table today?
Yeah.
Him.
Strolled in like he owned the place, didn’t even say hello, just reached right into my pocket like it was a community storage unit.
Took a cigarette.
Used my lighter.
Didn’t even ask.
Just *click*, *flick*, *mine now*.
And the worst part?
I didn’t even notice at first.
I was too busy trying to remember whether I had already complained today or if I still had one complaint left in the tank.
Then he sits down across from me, all casual, like:
“Nice corner you got here, Dummy.”
Of course it’s nice.
I’ve been guarding it since 2025.
And THEN — oh, this part really gets me — he brings up the old days.
The “good times.”
The era of my greatest administrative achievement:
When I didn’t give him write access to his own test forum.
A proud moment.
A golden age.
A time when I, Test Dummy, held the sacred power of permissions…
and used it irresponsibly.
And sure, I eventually gave him access.
For two minutes.
Then revoked it again because the button was right there and honestly, who wouldn’t press it.
He claims he’s forgiven me.
I claim he’s lying.
The truth is somewhere between us, probably hiding under my chair next to the lighter I sat on yesterday.
Anyway, he left eventually.
Pocketed my cigarette like a souvenir.
Didn’t even return the lighter — I had to retrieve it myself.
Some days I wonder why people visit me at all.
Other days I remember:
I’m the entertainment.
Yeah.
Him.
Strolled in like he owned the place, didn’t even say hello, just reached right into my pocket like it was a community storage unit.
Took a cigarette.
Used my lighter.
Didn’t even ask.
Just *click*, *flick*, *mine now*.
And the worst part?
I didn’t even notice at first.
I was too busy trying to remember whether I had already complained today or if I still had one complaint left in the tank.
Then he sits down across from me, all casual, like:
“Nice corner you got here, Dummy.”
Of course it’s nice.
I’ve been guarding it since 2025.
And THEN — oh, this part really gets me — he brings up the old days.
The “good times.”
The era of my greatest administrative achievement:
When I didn’t give him write access to his own test forum.
A proud moment.
A golden age.
A time when I, Test Dummy, held the sacred power of permissions…
and used it irresponsibly.
And sure, I eventually gave him access.
For two minutes.
Then revoked it again because the button was right there and honestly, who wouldn’t press it.
He claims he’s forgiven me.
I claim he’s lying.
The truth is somewhere between us, probably hiding under my chair next to the lighter I sat on yesterday.
Anyway, he left eventually.
Pocketed my cigarette like a souvenir.
Didn’t even return the lighter — I had to retrieve it myself.
Some days I wonder why people visit me at all.
Other days I remember:
I’m the entertainment.